in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
