I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
