Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize