I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
