yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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