Screwed.edu
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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