I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
