Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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