I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
