Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
