also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
