did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
