my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The Olympian is in my bed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
