Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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