i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
