if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
