The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
