I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
