Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
