Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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