Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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