Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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