it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
