I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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