dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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