Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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