And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
