dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
