Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
porn star boner night. come get it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
