the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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