mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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