i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize