Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
