you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
