I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
