Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
