i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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