i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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