there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
