So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize