Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
