So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
ok first of all what the fuck
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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