wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
