No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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