I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
