Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize