ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
