Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
