So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
