addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
