nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
