It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
