so explain again why im purple
no
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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