Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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