You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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