You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need moral support for this bender
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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