everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
