I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
