u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
