You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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