U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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