You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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