is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
