Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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