I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
