I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
