At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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