its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why are your pants in the freezer?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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