I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize