Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
