why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
